Last week I drove across the country to get cut from a pro hockey team

Theres something beautiful in rolling the dice, taking the chance. Maybe im falling behind but thankfully there is no race and there is no finish line.

I have to always imagine that the desk job will exist in some capacity when im done, when i eventually run out of chances. Doing what you love is such a unique thing. Maybe im speaking from a position of privledge. But i just have a sense that no matter how many times i fuck it all up. The Lord will bail me out, and whoever my guardian angel is probably needs a raise.

I always hesistate to write about my paintings, for fear that my words will misconstrue something that you see in it, that i do not. I never have been an innately strong writer, and i would rather not tell you what the paintings mean. Sometimes they dont mean anything at all, they are just something that has to pour out of me.

I made four paintings while trying out for the Peoria Rivermen. This one I started in Eastern Illinois and drove all the way back to New York. I quite like it, but the ones i usually like, people usually hate. I cant imagine not taking the chance, not trying to be an artist or a hockey player. Maybe if i focused on one i would be more successful, but i dont think i would be happy without the other. Success is relative anyway. I have no problem living in obscurity for my painting career, thats never something that has bothered me. And i have never been bothered by not making a hockey team. Failure is part of life, you also can never make it if you never try. So anyway ill leave you with One of my favorite quotes.

“they deem me mad because i will not sell my days for gold”

“I deem them mad because they think my days have a price”